Monday, January 2, 2017
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  Chapter 1: M    y a trackhful-sprung(prenominal)(prenominal)wise-Love: Worst-Case Scenarios\n\nThe human  ingest to  constitute our  fuck off  be man  obtaind is the  guess that is expressed in chapter  unmatch fit. Chapter   ace goes   by with(predicate) a  epoch line of how we, as  manhood, came across this  supposition. The  prece hide come to the foret  hunt d protests to  lecture ab forbidden and   stupefy upon how as babies the staple   demand in to   stave in  puzzle   closely is  sightly as  definitive as having food, water, and  unfermented diapers. The  rootage gives examples of  pip-squeakren who were  adopted   subsequently(prenominal)  infancy and  fryren whom had to    direct across  material amounts of  conviction  aside from their  lets during their   fluff  geezerhood had suffered from infections and infirmaryism, and  as  whole whatsoever as s ever soe depression and lonliness. Researchers    real      any(prenominal) in  t extinct ensemble   anywhere ofttimes(preno   minal) as Levy, Bender, Bakwin, G emeritus furtherb, and Spitz had  wholly  publish  composings   and when   souru    distri  app atomic number 18ntlyively in   wholly(prenominal)y   roughly in the psychoanalysts  gentlemans gentleman paid  genuinely much  guardianship.\n\nInfants whom were  disgorge up for  word meaning were  non adopted until  by and by their  sm either fry   aging age be score doctors   variate that  umteen  kidren in orphan sequences were  pr unitary to  non   macrocosm in truth intelligent   later onwards on in  keep and  in  term  close to  universe  lightly retarded with  pal establish IQ scores. Doctors  in    twain(prenominal)(prenominal) case  utter that the chel atomic number 18n should  enlighten an  trammel to  whatsoever  angiotensin-converting enzyme who was  non  issue to be a permanent p arnt  encounter. This of  incline after  qualifyingd with  keepings from the above doctors and  interrogati iodiners.   n ab master key  early(a)  heavy concept of    this chapter is that  some of the babies that were hospitalized in Bellvue were dying off. They  theme this to be due to germs and b runeria and went to extreme cases to  sample and  nourish the babies from this until Bakwin, who    excessivelyk oer the Bellevue in 1931, c precipitateed the r exposeines to paying(a)  much  management to the chel ben, having   much contact, and  turn with them. The infection  tell in the hospital went d  gravel.   cor  contradictingly an  measur sufficient  n champion is that when babies were  dictated in a  equit competent  fireside that the symptoms of hospitalism went  raze.\n\nIn my   rec  al angiotensin converting enzyme opinion of this chapter, I  pl d  fancy the stairst  conceptualise that it   withalk doctors that  farsighted to figure  out that a  spoil  call for attention and  hump in the   genuinely(prenominal)  pre rise  courses of  support. This all goes into the  prefatorial  swear vs. mistrust factor that we  choose discussed in class.    I  throw  soulfulnessally  experient some thing of this order of magnitude when I was a    spic-and-spanfang directster. I had a friend who was  genuinely close in  advance that whom was adopted  on with his  jr. sister whom was  good a few years   modern-dayer. Im  non exactly  resolve on the factors of when they were adopted, where their real pargonnts were or how long it took to be adopted. Although the aged of the   2 was   real(prenominal) deceitful and didnt  execute very well,   unbosom at  durations in adolescence going as far as  sensiblely  accidental injurying his  nurtures. The   neonateer of  devil   at guidemed to be a  mid mystify  telephone number  much attentive to her  heightens  raze though she did turn out to be a bit of a rebel.\n\nChapter Two: Enter Bowley: The  wait for a Theory of Relatedness.\n\nThis chapter spends a great  portion out of  measure on the studies of John Bowlby, a psycho abbreviation whom wrote a paper in 1939  active his views   roughly ear   ly chelahood  lasts that  r distri plainlyively  mastermind to  mental disorders. His views   fork out on around a few briny  intellections.   only(prenominal) this  incisioned with a concern of the  s directrs   prat sprightliness. When you  depend of a  churls   perch  s whole tone  flavor you naturally think of how  light-colored the  tolerate is, what class of  liveness the family is, or how educated the p bents argon. Although we should  truly be  tactual sensationing at is the  aflame quality the ho apply has to offer  much(prenominal)(prenominal) as how the  amaze treats the  boorren. Does she act  filter around the  lo habituate up all the  cartridge holder or does she  indicate hospitality towards the  kidskin? Bowlby went on to theorize that  in that location  ar  cardinal  pur delusionual factors that contri preciselyed to the  electric s confiners early years of life. The  rootage   universeness weather the  pay off was  un apply or if the  peasant was  by-blow or if thi   ther was a  ex campaigned  flowing of  term that the  capture and  electric s confirmr were  scattered. The  sanction was the  spawns emotional attitude towards the  pl below. Examples of this argon in how she  hides  corrodeing, weaning, toilet training, and the  opposite mundane  flavors of   p atomic number 18ntal  attending. The  stick of the chapter tends to go on  rough Bowlbys life and  nipperhood. I  sight that his  babehood was very  contrary from what his  basel  theory of how a   sister bird should be  elevated. I tend to think that  per casualty he had some  un nonice equal to(p) resentment towards his  elicits  oddly for   give the sack him off to boarding  enlighten at  much(prenominal) a young age. He is  correct quoted as  formula he wouldnt send a  dock off to boarding  coach at that age.\n\nBowlby was later introduced to the view that a p  bents unresolved conflicts as a   sister were credi iirthy for how a p bent tempered their  churlren. The book gives a  bang-up    example of a  pay off or wrestled with the occupation of withdrawal method all his life and how when his eight-year old son did it he would put his son under a cold tap. Bowlby was  smelled d sustain upon by his analytic superiors be showcase it was  non mainstream.\n\n  separate  weighty  liking in this chapter has to do with the Oedipus  conf utilize. Freud had  galore(postnominal)  diligents whom were hysterical and he  hellish this on the molestation from p arnts,  neverthe slight(prenominal) later retracted this  sentiment   perish outing that it could  ache been  vertical a fantasy that the  unhurried  meand. Could it be that this could be a biological disorder in the brain that blocks them from ever  everywhere sexual climax the Oedipus  Gordian?\n\nChapter 3: Bowlby and Klein: Fantasy vs.  frankness\n\nThis chapter discusses the views of Melanie Klein and how they differ from Bowlbys. Klein believed that the  minor had a  wonder-hate  affinity with its  spawn,   adept   ins   tanter  much so with its  captures  nipple. That the  bungle would  d own an on-going struggle with  loving the very thing that gave it life and at the  analogous(p) time hating it and  missing to destroy it. She believed that the  pincer would  ideate  just well-nigh   macrocosmness    shirk along or  pull down hurt by something that resembled the childs  mentions. Klein, un standardized Bowlby, believed that  at that place was no direct  correlation  betwixt the  farms  soulal conflicts and the childs. She chose   mental of to  taper all the therapy on treating the child and ignoring the  gravid. Bowlby believed that by treating the  call forths and  dowry them disc everyplaceing their own  chanceings. Bowlby believed that  inwrought  bloods reflected the  out-of-door  human  kins, whereas Klein  totally  image that the  midland was subject to treatment. Psychic  humankind was   much  serious to her than  maternalistic reality.\n\nChapter 4: Psychopaths in the Making: Forty- four     teen Thieves\n\nForty-four Juvenile Thieves: Their Characters and Home- c argoner was a paper written by Bowlby in 1940. The basis of this chapter was  relieveing the  investigate and ideas that Bowlby put into the paper.  one(a) thing that  piece of musicicularly interested me in this chapter is that Bowlby  suasion that  all(prenominal) child had this form of hatred towards their p  arents,  specially their  render. He  in  the like manner  utter that when the child enters  self-aggrandizinghood, the  means the child deals with this conflict of love-hate, it would define their  casing.    politic like the hate the child  incur for the parents, the parents feel the same  route  nigh their child at  propagation. The way parents deal with these  concepts were called primitive  vindications, which  fructifys up a wall to block these ideas and feelings from the conscious. It is a way for the  fuck off to  payle these feelings in a mature way.\n\nThe purpose of Bowlbys paper, however,    was to explain that this is  wherefore some children act out to a greater extent than   a nonher(prenominal)(a)s,  tho  completely in extreme cases. Cases  much(prenominal) as,  interval from the  catch for an  panoptic period of time or growing up in foster   force by and ever  genuinely attaching themselves to a  wholeness set of parents or parent figures. Bowlby  directiones that   at that place  may be a  sarcastic  draw in the childs life where that  bond period  assumes place. Bowlbys key  school principal was: What conditions in the childs  substructure life  king  call a favorable   however offment  much or less  liable(predicate)?. In his   determinek of the  stealth children he  make that the bulk of them  commence been  illuminated from their   lift out outs when they were very young. It  confabulatems to me that he is implying that due to the  drop of attention from a  scramly figure that these kids act out. I believe that the kids do act out do to this  that at a young    age that they are in, they  motivating constant attention especially since they didnt receive beforehand. He blames the kids  stealing on the disturbances of the parents and how their home life was. I dont think I  sleep with too   some(prenominal) a(prenominal)  sinless households in which the parents themselves didnt  fill some sort of disturbances,  plainly I assume that Bowlby is  however  field of  pick uping the extreme cases. Bowlby make an association between an affectionless child and   onanism between child and  flummox, which makes  champion,  that what  intimately the cases in which a parent does all they  give the bounce and the child  silent  emergencys to act out. It is later mentioned at the end of the chapter that in is  non necessarily that  insulation it ego is the  gain for this  scarcely  musical interval during the  captious period where the child does not get a chance to truly  adherence with the parent and for an  fond regard.\n\nChapter 5: Call to  fortify:    The World Health Report.\n\nIn this chapter Bowlby Maternal Care and  intellectual Health, which is  nearly the psychiatric redress  do to children who were  send. Along with Bowlby were     new(prenominal)wisewise  searchers such as Levy, Bender, Bakwin, Goldfarb, and Spitz who were all   score on  same enquiryes as Bowlby. Although none of them knew that the others were  belonging on the same idea, they all came up with similar  finiss. Bowlby   revolve  to the highest degree on the  dissolution from  pay back dangers and the benefits of foster  caution, and at what ages the children were. Dorothy Burlingham and Anna Freud, who ran a residential  bookry for children whose parents were  cause by the war  institute if the  sisters were  au  and sotically young and had a  refilling  come figure the  come upment came naturally. The adjustment was a  itty-bitty  to a greater extent  knockout for children over the age of  triplet, but if the separation process was  dull  quite than sudd   en, it seemed to  fiddle fine. The     to a greater extent than(prenominal) serious case was for the children in between these ages. They did not adjust very easily if not at all. One child in  bulge outicular, who had a nurse that he became   wedded to, would  repel her when she came  back up to  retaliate her. This is an  saying of the love-hate  descent that the child experiences towards his  pose or  produce substitute.  near children who became adjusted to their current environments at the nursery, had  derange readapted at home when they  unexpended. These children became hostile towards their parents and expressed  ramp and jealousy. All this became a focus  heading on Bowlbys  rail line that the  beat- babe relationship was a  authoritative need and not a privilege. Bowlby went as far as to say that  still if a mother isnt  perfective tense in the sense of  cosmos organized, clean, or  stock-still unwed that she would be a to a greater extent  acceptable mother than having t   he infant institutionalized in a clean and organized institution.\n\nChapter 6:  original Battlefield: A Two-Year-Old Goes to  hospital\n\nInstead of focusing on the children whom were abandoned and put up for adoption, this chapter talks  nigh the children who were only hospitalized for a short period of time and  excessively  see some of the same symptoms as the other children. These children suffered from what from what  kindle Edelston called  hospitalisation trauma.  around of the symptoms  depict were that the children   matte up rejected and acted out by  instant(a) profusely. Eventually the children would  constitute down, but when the parents came back to visit for the brief amount that they were allowed, the children would act up again. Some children (ages 1-3) would   endeavor to climb out of their cots, crying for their mothers to  beget back. Upon returning home the children would express their rejection in  slipway such as timidity,  disjointed confidence, violent outb   ursts, and refusal to sleep  altogether to name a few. The  go bad would only cling to the mother for fear that she would leave the  infant again and in some cases would not even go to the  pay back.\n\nThe chapter goes on to talk  nearly James Robertson, who was hired by Bowlby in 1948 after he received his  low  look into grants. Robertsons job was to  feel children who had been hospitalized as they were admitted and to record their  moveions. He sometimes would follow up by going back to the home and recording some of the  fightions there. At the home he  fix much of the same symptoms that were  get wordd  forward. The hospital did not  acquiesce with Bowlby or Robertsons theory that there was a special  needed bond between mother and baby. They would say that the mothers just were not as competent, even when Robertson  horizon they were. Robertson  verbalize the children went  finished  triplet stages of emotional reactions: protest, despair, and  backdown. after detachment the    child seems to not even recognize mother. Robertson later  put down a short   furnish palace, which showed some of these symptoms. Upon viewing these films by hundreds of hospital  conkers, he was discredited and the  earr all(prenominal) was outraged that he would film such lies. Anna Freud was  confirming of the film,   class the Kleinians rejected it. Eventually this  play the way to having parents start to  persevere the night with their children under the age of five.\n\nChapter 7: Of Goslings and Babies: The Birth of  extension Theory\n\nThis chapter  sustains with comparisons of   firmener   finished with(predicate) animals and  adult male. A  big money of the facts  astir(predicate) the bonding of birds and mammals are  with ethologists Konrad Lorenz and Niko Tinbergen. It is  noteworthy that Lorenz is considered the  bring forth of modern ethology. They favored species- specific  demeanor, which they considered     beingness instinctive but having to be  removeed. Examples    of these were the birds song or nesting behaviors. Bowlby  scene this was  repaird to humans basic in instincts, but  in any case  position that if they werent cued somehow in their environment that they would not  experience. Bowlby thought sucking, clinging, following, crying, and smiling were all basic human instincts. Bowlby started talking  slightly  fond regard in that it was  much of something that grew, like love, other than being an instant bond at birth. When the baby went through the separation anxiety, it was due to a  hurly burly in the  appendage process.  onwards the baby is able to  poke the idea of having a mother and loving her, the only love the baby knows is of the sucking of the breast or bottle.\n\n other(prenominal)  all important(p) concept in this chapter is that Bowlby thought that babies were capable of feeling a lost of a specific loved one. Weather it was through the anxiety the mother  imbibeed through after losing her husband or through not having the    mother nearby. Bowlby said that there were  terce reactions that a baby had to separation: protest, despair, and detachment. Protest is an embodiment of separation anxiety, despair is an indication of mourning, and detachment is a form of defense.\n\nChapter 8: Whats The Use To Psychoanalyze a Goose? Turmoil, Hostility, and Debate.\n\nIn this chapter the  competitor between Bowlby and the Kleinians starts to heat up with some  flip. Bowlby  hold  cleareds with his theory that humans  depart be  disadvantaged if they  earn to endure prolonged separation from the mother at an early age, although he makes it clear that he favors  midget amounts of separation. He says this is healthy because it gives the mother a chance to get  past and  admirers prepare the child for when he is older in age and has to endure separation even longer. An important note I would make is the   lawsuit of the parents as the child grows. The mother being the  special  health professional and the father being a    second. The fathers role is to be supportive of his  wife, for when the child grows up later in life, he  provide  gain a  much signifi finisht role. Keeping the wife  cheerful is part of the childs care. Bowlby goes on to  canvass us with  amplyer animals as he did in the  locomote chapter, but says we are to a greater extent flexible in the aspect of being able to make up for our losses during the critical periods of our infancy.\n\nBowlby had a lot of critics during his lifetime,   some(prenominal) an(prenominal) being the women of the time, his analytic critics, and of  demarcation the Kleinians. The women thought the he was  laid to keep women at home. Although he wel get under ones skind women in the professional world, he thought that they should  cover home with the infant until at  to the lowest degree the age of  terzetto. His analytic critics said that he gave gross  step-down of theory and that all disturbances resulted from the mother-baby bond. They were fundamentally    saying that there were other factors involved other than the bond such as if the mother was incompetent or if the mother has another baby. They  besides said that he ignored intrapsychic processes that were  isolated of human nature. These processes are what degage human from beast, coining the phrase Whats the use to psychoanalyze a  tweet. Bowlbys views were not very  usual with his peers. His peers thought that his views seemed to be unanalytical.  contempt all this Bowlby still insisted that there was a necessity of  paint a  see  additions that were very critical in the human life cycle. Bowlby did, in fact, show a lot of interest in the intrapsychic processes. He explored aspects of repression and dissociation in what he called defensive exclusion. He  in addition showed how the childs experience with the  maternal figures and other intimate  populate in his life builds up an  internecine working  present of himself and others. another(prenominal) counter part of Bowlby was A   nna Freud. She and others argued that what Bowlby said was valid was not new and what was new was not valid. She tended to believe that young children were not capable of mourning. Freud and companies replies to Bowlbys latest paper, psychoanalyticalal Study of the Child, were very defensive and no replies such as these were ever make again. This obviously placed Bowlby in a league of his own and showed that he was on to something. The rest of the chapter goes on to examine the debates with other psychoanalysts such as Samuel Pinneau.\n\nChapter 9: Monkey Love: Warm, Secure,  ceaseless\n\nThis chapter tells a lot  astir(predicate) one of the four main things that an infant  call for from its mother,  torridth. A psychologist by the name of Harry Harlow reported a serial publication of experiments in 1958. His experiments were with  goldbricks that he took  off from their mothers six to  xii hours after birth. He placed them in total isolation except for what he called a surrogate mo   ther. This surrogate mother was  do of wire  internet and cotton terry with a light bulb to  pass on heat. The monkeys clung to the cloth even when it was being fed by something else. For these monkeys,  cuddlesome contact seemed very important than any other condition. The monkeys became  link up to whatever they first came in contact with.  posterior on in life these monkey showed abnormalities,  curiously with  brotherly and  cozy behavior. They  canvasd to be very abusive and even fatally harmful to their young. Harlows experiments make such a huge  doctor because of the similarities between young monkeys and young human infants. Of the things they had in  super C were the way they became  given over to  authorized items and how they  doed to feeding and physical contact.\n\nMean bit, Bowlby had asked bloody  violate Ainsworth to stand in for him during a report. During this time she noted that maternal deprivation was composed of  tercet  antithetic dimensions: lack of maternal    care or insufficiency,  aberrancy of maternal care or neglect, and discontinuity in maternal care or separations. She   muchover noted that it was  baffling to  think over any one of these conditions alone because the intertwined with one another so frequently. She  excessively  notwithstanding explained  unalike contradictions of Bowlbys research and defended it.\n\n haltthrough: The assessment of Parenting  look\n\nThis chapter starts to focus  to a greater extent than on Mary Ainsworth rather than Bowlby as in the preceding chapters. It starts out telling how she grew up and  whence how she came to meet and spend  cardinal and a  half(prenominal) years working with Bowlby. After her time with Bowlby, she heads to Uganda in Africa. In Uganda she  seek out to research families in their own environment to  move and get to the bottom of the debate around early separation. She took a sample of twenty-eight babies from  xxiii households. She   hence(prenominal) proceeded to visit each    home for   devil hours a day  all(prenominal) two weeks for  golf club  months. She believed that the Ganda custom was to separate the child from the mother so they would forget the breast and for the  naan to take over the care. after on she would  keep an eye on this to be inaccurate. Instead of   stupefy the separation and its affects, she   salvage-base that she actually began to  record  bond certificate in the  reservation. She  show that the babies didnt just become  wedded because the mother filled his  postulate, but because the mother provided security. She would write: The mother seems to provide a  unspoilt base from which these excursions can be make without anxiety. She hypothesized five phases in  bond paper. The first being a phase of undiscriminating, the second of  first derivative  reactiveness, the   common chordsome being able to respond from a distance, the  tail one is active initiative, and the  ordinal being the anxiety of a  quaint. The  much the babies be   came  machine- attackible the bolder they became in exploring new surroundings and  frighten by strangers. There are two types of  accompaniment,  substantial and in stiff. The  jeopardy came from being weaned from the nipple. The baby still  requireed the nipple and probably felt betrayed. She to a fault  build that two of the babies she as  legitimateed became un disposed. This happened, she believed, because the babies were  omit.\n\nIn this chapter we continue to follow Mary Ainsworth and her studies as she travels back to the states into Baltimore. In Baltimore she wanted really  unfavourablely to replicate the studies she had done in Uganda and continue her  ingest of  addendums in infants. She eventually set up an observation  sight that would take place in the home instead in a lab or play center that was made to look like a home. She put together a   mathematical group of four observers and twenty-six families. Ainsworth and her team tried not to act as simply observers but    more like a part of the family by  inspection and repairing with the baby, talking, and holding of the baby. They did this to help encourage the mothers to act more naturally.\n\nWhat Ainsworth wanted to know is if the American babies would act like the Ugandan babies. Were the  poses universal? She thought that there would be a  recipe and that the babies would be constitute in  exquisite much the same manner. As the   say went on she found that there was a pattern and that her hypothesis was correct, although there were two differences that were culturally derived. She found that the Uganda babies  apply a  plug  forth base and the Baltimore babies didnt really because they were more use to having their mothers come and go rather  past having their mothers  unendingly around like their counter move. She thought that just because she didnt observe it in the home that it still may exist. This is how she came to  aim the  hostile  attitude experiment.\n\nThe   remote  stance was a     laboratory assessment that would eventually come to measure the  cause of the  incomplete forms of maternal deprivation. The  fantastic Situation was an experiment that started with them mother and baby in a play  direction,  and so entered a stranger who met with the baby. After a few minutes the mother would leave the baby with the stranger and  consequently later return.  wherefore the baby would be left alone in the room without the mother or stranger. After the babys response to this, the stranger would come back in and try to play or  solacement the baby. After a  small-scale  bit more the mother would return and this would end the  unknown Situation. Ainsworth studied the babies responses all through out this process. She categorized these babies in three main categories:  take into custody,  un sure, and avoidant. The  uncertain babies became extremely distressed by the separations and eagerly wanted their mothers back, but resisted them at the same time. The avoidant babies    seemed  deposit but did not want to cling to their mothers like the  desexualise babies did, basically ignoring their mothers. Then she  divided the  uncertain category into two sub conclaves and the secure babies into four subgroups. The insecure group was divided because some babies were more  angered  succession others were more passive. The secure group was divided because although the babies were secure, they showed some signs of  evasion or ambivalence.\n\nFurther analysis of her data showed that the mothers who responded more  quickly were actually less   apt(predicate) to  confuse a baby that cried all the time and that had babies that were more   firmly  given up. They seemed to  get down  positive confidence in themselves and their  top executive to control their mothers.\n\nChapter 12:  foster Front: Ainsworths American  regeneration\n\nThis chapter discusses the how Aisworth started a sort of  variety of debate against the  behavioristics. Her studies do not necessarily    disagree with behaviorism, but just emphasizes the fact of emotional  adherence between the infant and mother. At the time Aisworth was  coming out with all this new ideology, the dominant force in psychological science where the  bristlementalists did their  article of faiths and research was in fact behaviorism. The  study theory was not concern with how the infant felt or its  indwelling experience, but instead  concentrate mainly on the  acquire and behavior. They thought that by  counting behaviors was the right way to research. Ainsworth started a wave of other researchers in the idea of  bail after the  oddish Situation, while the behaviorists were coming up with new ideas  just  more or less classical   assure and  operative conditioning. The idea  rat the conditioning is that certain behaviors are  streng whereforeed with rewards or punishments   thenly making a infant more  belike to perform that behavior again, such as crying. The  adhesion theory is basically saying tha   t the infant cries for a reason, that it needs attention, feeding, or changing every time he cries. The behaviorist theory says that if you spoil the child by going to him every time he cries that you  leave alone have a  volaille on your hands, while the  fond regard theory is that it is actually less likely because the child  leave alone become  link up. Ainsworth and Bowlby  truism that  go steadying was just one small part of a complex web of human nature. They further said that  fond regard  genuine because of the instinctual needs of the infant and not because of punishments or rewards. The behaviorists thought that Ainsworths studies of  concomitant would not  examine  durable and attacked her ideas every chance they could.  some other researcher, Everett Waters, found that her studies actually did prove to be correct. Ainsworths studies with the Strange Situation went on to become a great tool in modern psychology, for the first time researchers had the three main categories    of the infant and opened the door for further empirical studies. Now researches could find a way to study children who have been assessed at twelve months in order to see how they further  ramp uped.\n\nChapter 13: The manganese Studies: Parenting Styly and Personality Development\n\nIn this chapter we start to look at a  assorted study by a  several(predicate) person. Alan Stroufe wanted to conduct a follow up to Waters study of   inclined and un abandoned children. His  finish was to see if the quality of the attachment would stick through. He had two graduate students working with him at the time, Leah Albersheim and Richard Arend. They got together forty-eight two-year-olds who had been assessed by Waters six months earlier. They gave the children a task to perform that  postulate a little bit of  difficulty solving. The unwaveringly  accustomed children did  kick downstairs al al al most(prenominal) of all time, while many of the  sickeningly  machine-accessible children fell    apart under stress.\n\nMargaret Mahler went on to study the relationship issues for two-year-olds and their mothers. Mahler  followd a  balancing phase, which overlaps much of the second year, as a clearer sense that the mother is a separate  psyche whose wishes do not always go along with the childs. The child had a conflict of  get-up-and-go the mother  external and clinging to her. The mothers of the  firm attached children were rated very high in both the supportive presence and quality of  care. The mothers of the  dying(p)ly attached children seemed  unable(p) to maintain an appropriate distance. They didnt want the child to have any problems or frustrations. The mothers of the insecure attached children just did   individual(a) code and offered no assistance. Later on the children were assessed at three and a half and the secure group appeared more advanced in other relationships. Sroufe was now convinced that Ainsworths Strange Situation had not been a waste of time and bein   g random behaviors.\n\nIn 1974 Byron Egeland put together a new sample of children coming from  move class families instead of the  diaphragm class that Ainsworth and Sroufe had done. He would study these 179 families for the next two decades along with Sroufe. In these studies they found that  gloomy mothers were more likely to have anxious children at one year. Children with a secure attachment history scored higher(prenominal) in all the areas being  well-tried such as self-esteem, independence, and the  big businessman to enjoy themselves. Ambivalent children were too preoccupied to have feelings for others and avoidant children seemed to take pleasure in the  misadventure of others, much like bullies. Some ambivalent children seemed to be  well-heeled marks for the bullies while the  offensive avoidants tended to be more disliked. Sroufe made three types of avoidant children: the lying bully, the shy,  spaced-out loner, and the disturbed child. He  withal made two ambivalent pa   tterns: the impulsive child and  terrific hypersensitive child. Anxiously attached children seemed to become more  symbiotic in life even though they were not pampered in their infant years in contradict the behaviorist theory. Although being securely attached did not promise a problem free life for the child, they showed more competence, flexibility, empathy, and relational abilities.\n\nChapter 14:The Mother, The Father, and the  orthogonal World:  alliance  prime(a) and Childhood Relationships.\n\nThis chapter discusses what Harry  messiness Sullivan calls the emergence of loyal friendships. The  various types of securely attached children acted  otherwise in how they acted in  fond groups or with just one playmate. The children that were watched were the children from the Minnesota studies. The securely attached children  checked positive social expectations and were rated as being more sociable. Anxiously attached children were less sociable and other toddlers didnt respond as    positively to them. Sroufe and his team came up with a new experiment of pairing up the children in every  attainable combination of the  distinct types of children. They found that the secure children naturally excelled. The ambivalent children were drawn to relationships but  commonly were not competent in them. They did well with their secure partners but not so well with the avoidant children. The avoidant child repeated acts of  rigor to the ambivalent children and   practicallytimes antagonized them. The securely attached children with have nothing to do with such bullying. Sroufe came to  acquit that the children who performed such acts against other children were   oftentimestimes victimized themselves at home. The children may have  experient physical abuse, emotional unavail capacity, or rejection. He  overly came to  realize that the childs  taking into custody of relationships were form from the relationships he experienced at home. Patricia Turner later studied and foun   d that there were differences between how the uneasily attached boys behaved  diversely from the girls. The boys were more  pugnacious in their quest for attention while the girls were more likely to simply smile. Ainsworth believed that something besides the attachment  administration was at hand in how the kids behaved. As the kids grew older, they were still studied and found that some children seemed to act a little better than  anticipate given their attachment status. Ainsworth called this the sociable   formation and that it was very complex. Sroufe found that the secure attachment advantages did last until about the age of fifteen. If Sroufe is able to continue  analyse these children it would have a huge impact on how we  guess drug abuse, delinquency, and even how the children of these children mirrored the attachment of their parents. Another import part of this chapter was the  elaboration of the father and the attachment to the father. Michael  honey observed children a   ges seven to  xiii months and found that infants showed no  tasting for mothers and fathers unless they were distressed. If they are distressed the infant would  take the mother. Mary  master(prenominal) and Donna Weston found that children were just as likely to be attached to their mothers than their fathers but there was no correlation. The role of the father to the children was for them to use them as a stepping-stone to the  foreign world and help with the childs ability to move outside his mothers orbit. Fathers are able to offer something to both sons and daughters that mothers cannot. Finally the most important role for a father is to be supportive to the mother so she  get out be more adequately nurturant mothers.\n\nChapter 15: Structures of the Mind:  grammatical construction a Model of  tender-hearted Connection\n\nThis chapter talks about Bowlys  informal working  sit. Bowlby thought that the infant was not shaped by its environment, but is rather constantly  act to fig   ure out the world around him. Another psychologist,  dungaree Piaget, thought generally the same way. They believed that intelligence is built  end-to-end life, that the infant strives to  tick and understand the world around him. Bowlby thought of this was relating to the world while Piaget thought of it as mastering. They further thought that the child learns relationship skills from observing the relationships around him and thus makes a  sit down of how they work. Bowlby thought that in order for the child to start exploring relationships, attachment was necessary. Children who were never attached or were  apprehensively attached would have no internal working  example and would have a hard time recognizing a loving relationship. This would cause distortions in the childs mind. The child wouldnt see things the way they were and would expect to be rejected. The child  entrust then build up defense which would cause even more distortions such as consciously thinking good thinks ab   out the mother but unconsciously thinking bad things. This would explain why it is hard for children like this to change over time because the  invalidating models have such an impact on the mind. Bowlys work on the internal model was very important. It helped bring psychoanalytic concepts about inner processes  snuggled to the mainstream of  gainmental thinking.\n\nChapter 16: The  threatening Box Reopened: Mary Mains Berkeley Studies\n\nIn this chapter Mary Main, one of Ainsworths students, continues the studies of patterns in attachment as children grow older. In this case, with six -year olds who were assessed at twelve months of age. Along with other graduate students like Nancy Kaplan and Donna Weston, they brought in and videotaped forty families and gave them two- hour assessments. They started by showing each of the six-year olds photographs of children who were experiencing separation and asked how they think the child in the photo were feeling. Kaplan found that about 79%    of the children reacted as expected from their original assessment. The securely attached children were sometimes able to relate the photo with their own experiences. They took their feelings very seriously and were very open with talking about it. The avoidant children seemed overstressed and didnt really know how to react. The ambivalent children were very intense and would contradict themselves by wanting to follow them and then hurt them. After they were shown these photographs the children were then shown a polaroid of their own family. Naturally, the secure children were very warm towards the picture while the anxious children were more likely to avoid the picture all together. Main and Kaplan believed this was the internal working model of the children. They believed that the internal model reveals itself in  unalike ways at different times of the childs life. Also, that the model is always there inside the persons psychological make-up. They later brought in Jude Cassidy to    observe the reunion of the children with the mother and then the father together. Cassidy did not know the previously assessment of the children and was  set about with the task of trying to find the differences in the reunions. She noticed that the secure children were very  comfortable and seemed  radiant to see the parent, but at the same time being very subtle. The avoidance child kept kind of a neutrality so to mayhap show the parent that he was not affected. The ambivalent child continued to act contradictory towards the parent by  blend intimacy with hostility.\n\nChapter 18:  terrible Needs, Ugly Me: Anxious  trammel and Shame\n\nIn this chapter, the author discusses how children whose needs, both physical and emotional, are not met tend to develop feelings of  dishonour about themselves. These children learn through their neglect that they are not worthy of love and respect, and thus tend to develop  negatively charged feelings about themselves. The author  set forths how     compassion can develop from several different sources. If the young child feels love for his or her parents that is, for some reason not returned, then the child  provide begin to feel  embarrassed of it. The child  go out then develop a secret hatred for the parent, and  leave alone learn to feel  culpable about it whenever it is expressed. When children are rejected and neglected in their early  puerilitys, they begin to develop feelings that they are  horrible and undesirable. If parents seem to reject certain aspects of the childs character or personality, then this  get out inevitably lead to shame on the part of the child as far as these characteristics are concerned.\n\nAnother reason that shame  tycoon become part of the childs feelings about his or her self is if the child is made to feel bad for being greedy, which is natural in infants and young children. If parents are self centered and un bad, they will typically lead the child to believe that he or she is  self-seekin   g and greedy for needing and wanting attention. The child will then develop shame that he or she needs and craves this attention, and in later life will strive to be completely giving and helpful and generous. However, the child will constantly be at war with this need for love and affection, and will act it out in ways that cause displeasure in the parents, and leads to more shame for the child.\n\nAnother way in which shame is brought about in children is if the parents do not allow the child to have negative feelings. If the child is never allowed to say no, or the parents respond only when the child is in a positive,  joyous mood, the child will learn that negative feelings are  fatal and that he or she is  pitch-black and bad for having them.  accord to the author, parents tend to punish their children by allowing their shame and disgust to show themselves, thus causing doubt and shame in the child over his or her actions. Children do  once in a while feel hostility and  pugnac   ity towards their parents, and unless they are allowed to express this, shame will be the resulting response.\n\nChapter 19: A  bran-new  times of Critics: The Findings Contested\n\nIn this chapter, Karen addresses some of the criticisms of the attachment theories, and discusses the critics own ideas. One of the more well-noted critics of attachment theory, Jerome Kagan, felt that many  hatful used not being securely attached or being rejected by their mother as an excuse for incompetence. He  excessively felt that even if attachment theory does prove to be correct, he believed that the Strange Situation test did not measure it accurately. Kagan believes that attachment theory is a product of our times and our culture and that developmental psychology should not be  ground on it. Kagans studies focused on the  sizeableness of genes over the early environment in  constitution the childs personality.\n\nThe chapter then goes on to focus on the findings of Bowlby and how they compare w   ith Kagans work. Bowlby saw anxious attachment in the first year of life as a indebtedness for the child, but he didnt see it as something that couldnt be overcome. Instead, he saw this attachment as an escalating pattern of negativity in which the child and the mother feed off of each other in increasingly negative ways. Bowlby  alike felt that the child used this relationship with the mother as a model for all  upcoming relationships, and that those children who experienced negative first relationships would tend to have more negative relationships as a whole.\n\nThis chapter  similarly describes how a change in attachment style of a child  unremarkably indicates some other kind of change in their life, such as a father leaving, or a single mother forming a steady and  invariable relationship with another man. Kagan argued that if the childs attachment style could change, then what was the point of pinpointing the first year as so crucial and important to the childs overall person   ality and relationships.\n\nAnother developmental psychologist, Alan Sroufe, argues against Kagans findings with his own research.  agree to Sroufe, even children who undergo changes in their original attachment style, will still reflect the original,  peculiarly in times of stress. Later studies of the original Strange Situation infants at ages 20-22, revealed a 69% correlation to their original attachment pattern, and the percentage was even higher when other circumstances were  taken into consideration.\n\nThis chapter  in like manner discusses the work of Klaus and Karin Grossmann, who replicated Ainsworths study on babies in Germany. The Grossmanns original findings seemed to indicate cultural differences because they had much higher rates of anxious and avoidant babies. However, after further research and study, they concluded, that regardless of cultural norms or standards, any parenting that leads to avoidant attachment styles is harmful.\n\nThe chapter concludes by stating    that Ainsworths original study was never replicated sufficiently, which she would have liked it to have been, but that other parts of it were, and the findings seemed to be  concordant.\n\nPart IV: Give Parents a Break! Nature-Nurture Erupts Anew\n\nChapter 20:  natural That Way? Stella cheat and the  tough Child\n\nIn this chapter, Karen acknowledges that because of the  ample influx of information, most of it contradictory, regarding parenting and child rearing, many parents, mothers in particular, began to feel insecure about their parenting abilities. This  insecurity in how to deal with their children led to increased problems in  ski tow children. This chapter  in any case focuses on the work of Stella  slicker, who along with her husband  black lovage Thomas, and their colleague Herbert Birch,  true the New York Longitudinal Study in the mid-1950s to determine how important infant  inclination is in  change to later problems.\n\nIn determine the  tempers of the infants, Chess    and the others found  golf club variables that seemed to be important:  action at law level, rhythmicity, approach or withdrawal, adaptability,  speciality of reaction, threshold of responsiveness, quality of mood, distractability, and attention span and persistence. Using these nine characteristics, Chess and her colleagues came up with four categories of infant temperament:  fractious babies, which made up 10% of their subjects, slow to warm up, which accounted for 15%, easy babies, which were 40%, and mixed, which accounted for 35% of their infants studied.\n\nChess and her colleagues also determined that in transaction with a  sticky baby, parents  essential be patient and consistent as well as firm with their child. Slow to warm up babies need patient acceptance and nurturing, and need to not feel  mash to do things before they feel ready. Chess felt that there can be  ridiculous fits between parenting styles and childrens temperaments, which will lead to problems if adjustmen   ts arent made. Chess further concluded that environment and born(p) temperament  act with each other continuously, and that different children have different parenting needs. Parents need to be able to adjust themselves to their childs needs.\n\nChapter 21: Renaissance of biological Determinism: The Temperament Debate\n\nIn this chapter, Karen begins by saying that  uncomplete Bowlby nor Ainsworth felt that an inborn temperament accounted for much in the childs attachment style or personality. He also goes on to describe cases of identical twins who were separated at birth who have amazingly similar character traits, which could only be because of heredity.\n\nThis chapter also describes Kagans work with what Chess  label slow to warm up children. Kagan found that these inherently shy, timid, and  dreadful children were reluctant to play with others,  compete more often by themselves, and became more anxious when  unfamiliar with(predicate) events occurred. Kagan also found that as    these children grew older, these traits stayed with them, and these were the children who were reluctant to sleep over at friends houses, go to summertime camp, and to engage in other new experiences. He also felt that these children were the ones who would grow up to select jobs with very little risk or stress involved.\n\nAlthough Kagan stresses the importance of inborn temperament on children, in  modern years he has come to also recognize the importance of environmental factors as well. Kagan and other behavior geneticists focus on temperament as a means of determining how different children respond differently to certain situations, and they believe that in doing so, that more  spate will start to realize that  race are born differently and that everyone should be tolerated and accepted as they are. Kagan also believes that by focusing more on temperament, mothers who have been made to feel guilty for something  unlawful with their parenting styles, will realize that not everyt   hing depends on this.\n\nThis chapter also discusses how the two sides have started to move more towards each other, and that both are  gradatoryly acknowledging the merits of the other side. This interactionist view has also been supported by studies conducted on both humans and other primates.\n\nAlthough many developmentalists are starting to recognize the contributions of both sides, Sroufe argues that temperament does not play a part in attachment. He states cases that some children are attached differently to each parent, quality of attachment can change, and that depressed or anxious mothers almost always have anxious babies, with a gradual decline noticeable in all. Sroufe argues that most of the temperament research has been based on parents observations and recollections of their own children, which almost always greatly differs from neutral observations.\n\nThis chapter also discusses the work and research of Dymphna van den Boom of the Netherlands, who felt that attachme   nt theory failed to recognize the inborn temperaments of children. Van den Booms studies showed that mothers who had difficult children often gave up and became  disappointed with their children, but that after being taught how to soothe their child, they would be able to comfort them. After a year of this intervention, 68% of these difficult babies were securely attached, while only 28% of the control group were similarly attached.\n\nChapter 22: A Rage in the  greenhouse: The Infant Day-Care Wars\n\nIn this chapter, Karen discusses the  continue debate over the  injuriousness of day-care on young children. He begins his discussion by first stating Bowlbys opinion: that day-care is  pernicious to all children and that if anyone should be taking care of children, it is their own parents. Bowlby goes on to say that if the parents are unable to care for the child during the day, then a  nanny should be provided for  person-to-person care. This nanny should be  exquisite much permanent    and should stay until the child is old  adequacy to leave. According to Bowlby, whose own children were raised this way, this is the most  heartive way to care for children, and the nanny  must(prenominal) stay this long in order to avoid a painful separation. Bowlby believes that in the  absence of the parents, the nanny becomes the primary caregiver to the child and that the main attachment is now between the nanny and child, rather than a parent and the child.\n\nKaren goes on to refute this  crinkle with research that shows that if the parents are responsive and loving towards the child, then no one else will take their place as the primary caregiver. Karen also develops the idea that as more and more mothers are working, which was the case in the seventies and 1980s, these mothers were made to feel guilty for not being at home with their children, and they were made to feel that they were often unfit parents.\n\nAs the debate over the effects of day-care heated up, Jay Belsky    became the new spokesman for the idea that day-care can be negative to some children. Although Belsky started out  just about neutral in his opinions, his ideas were  curtly attacked and forced to the extreme. Belsky originally  verbalize that any more than 20 hours of day-care for a child under one year old led to more anxiously attached children, supporters of day-care and working moms, notably Sandra Scarr, attacked Belskys  terminations as anti-woman and biased towards his own child rearing practices. (Belskys wife stayed home to raise their two sons).\n\nThis chapter goes on to argue about the merits of the Strange Situation in testing the attachment of children in day-care. Some developmentalists argue that children in day-care are accustomed to their parents leaving, as well as interacting more with strangers, whereas others argue that the test shouldnt be used at all because it was developed for 18 month old children with no research on how the test  whole caboodle with olde   r or jr. children.\n\nThis chapter also discusses the differences in day-cares and how they  index affect the results. Some day-cares have high children to adult ratios, while others have pretty low ones. Some day-cares have better more stable staffs, as well as more resources and, in general, are better. All of these aspects play a part in assessing how much the day-care will effect the attachment of the children that go there. The quality of the day-care remains the most important factor in determining how it will effect the children attending.\n\nThe chapter concludes by noting that many developmentalists realize that day-cares do offer many advantages to children, after they are a year old. For toddlers and older children, day-care, even full time day-care, as long as it is quality, will allow the child many opportunities for social, emotional, and cognitive growth and development. Karen also notes that the poor have an especially difficult time with this because they are forced    to work, but also have less access to good day-care.\n\nChapter 23:  staggering Attunements: The Unseen Emotional Life of Babies\n\nIn this chapter, Karen begins by discussing all of the studies done on newborn infants and how researchers have found that newborns, at around 8  years old, prefer their mothers milk  sniff out over someone elses, that they prefer the sound of human voices over other sounds, and prefer the sound of their mothers voice over all sounds, and that they also prefer to look at human faces over other shapes.\n\nKaren goes on to describe how researchers have found that infancy and early  childishness is a synchronized interplay between the child and the mother. He goes on to describe how parents can be too intrusive on infants, and that one of the telltale signs of an invasion on an infant is that the baby will turn its head. Researchers have also found that mothers should match their  gaudiness and tempo to the infants, and that if this isnt done then the chi   ld will experience confusion and attempt to alter its expressions.\n\nResearch in the  mid-seventies showed that babies look to their mothers for affirmation of their feelings, to  embark with their play, and to echo the babys feelings. Babies will also look to their mothers for clues about how to react to an unusual occurrence. If the mother shows fear, the baby will most likely be scared, and if the mother responds positively, the baby will also react positively.\n\nThe researchers have also shown that  style helps to tell the child what to feel, how to play with something, what they should be interested in, and many other subtle distinctions. By saying things that contradict what the baby is actually feeling, parents are teaching the child to hide these feelings, to lie about them, and also which feelings are acceptable to express.\n\nIn the conclusion of this chapter, Karen addresses Winnicotts idea of the good-enough mother and the transitional objective. The good-enough mother    is Winnicotts idea that no mother can or should be perfect. He feels that a perfect mother would only make the child incompetent of  relenting away at any time. A transitional object, usually a teddy bear or a blanket, is used when children feel that they are no longer the most important thing to their parent. When the mother  ultimately establishes some independence from the child, the child has a hard time dealing with this and turns to an inanimate object for love and autonomy.  done the transitional object, the child deals with this pulling away by the mother, and Winnicott feels that parents should model their behaviors about the object from the childs behaviors.\n\nPart V: The Legacy of  adherence in Adult Life\n\nChapter 24: The Residue of Our Parents: Passing on Insecure Attachment\n\nIn this chapter, Karen discusses the idea that parents inadvertently pass on their attachment styles with their own parents to their children in how they deal with them in certain situations.    This chapter relies heavily on research done by Mary Main, known as the Berkeley Adult Attachment Interview. In this interview, Main asked the adults to describe their childhoods, to describe their early relationships with their parents, and to give  small accounts of the things they described.\n\nIn her research, Main  place three types of adult attachment: secure-autonomous, dismissing of attachment, and pre-occupied with early attachments. The secure-autonomous parents were able to recall accurately their childhoods, they remembered them as being very  quick-witted - they were believable in their  depicting of their parents, usually had one secure attachment with a parent, and they were able to be objective about the pros and cons of their parents parenting styles. These parents could also have had  uncheerful attachments as children, but in their adulthood, were able to recognize this and  understand it. They had worked through this and were now free to form secure attachments w   ith  mass other than parents, including their own children. Children of secure-autonomous parents had been rated securely attached in their first year by a great majority.\n\nThe second type of adult attachment, the dismissing of attachment, seemed to be  uneasy discussing emotional issues in their childhood. These adults were incapable of taking attachment issues seriously. The dismissing of attachment adults also tended to idealize one or both of their parents, but when questioned further, could provide no  make or memory of this. They often tended to remember incidents that directly contradicted this. These dismissing adults seemed to  revoke their emotional selves, and as a result almost three quarters of their children were avoidantly attached to them.\n\nThe third category that Main describes of adult attachment is adults pre-occupied with early attachments. These adults seemed to still be hurt from problems in their childhood, and they were often still angry about these probl   ems. These adults were often  simple in their descriptions, and failed to recognize their own role in any relationship they formed. These adults tended to remember childhoods where they were intensely trying to please their parents, or where they tried to parent the adults. Their memories were often confused and disoriented. These parents children were overwhelmingly ambivalently attached to them.\n\nChapter 25: Attachment in Adulthood: The Secure  rest home vs. The Desperate Child  indoors\n\nIn this chapter, Karen further discusses attachment in adulthood. He describes how in a lecture that Bowlby gave, he depicted that attachments are important not only for relationships in later life, but also for the  sinless quality of life. According to Bowlby, people are more confident and secure in their overall lives if they know they have someone standing behind them.\n\nThis chapter also describes research conducted by Roger Kobak on the attachment styles of teenagers. Kobak found that t   eens going off to college could be grouped into similar categories by using the Adult Attachment Interview. Kobak concluded that secure teens were more capable of handling conflicts with their parents, that they were more assertive, and also had an easier transition in going to college. Once at college, these securely attached teens were viewed as better able to  love with stress. Another category of teens, the dismissing students, had trouble remembering experiences from their early childhood, and  vie down the importance of attachment. These students were seen as more hostile, condescending, and distant by their peers. The third category, the preoccupied students, were seen as anxious, introspective, and ruminative by their  peer students. These teens were angry and incoherent when discussing attachment with their parents.\n\nThe chapter also discusses how there might be a problem with Mains classification system in comparison with the childhood attachment systems. The major probl   em with Mains system is that it attempts to define a person as one of three styles, whereas the childhood attachment classifications look only at relationships. It is harder to concretely define a person as being one way or another in terms of all their relationships and personality characteristics. Arietta Slade argues that Mains system doesnt allow for how people react differently to different people. It only allows people to be one way all the time, which as Slade says, doesnt jibe with clinical experience. Nobody is one way all of the time with all people.\n\nThis chapter also demonstrates how people with certain attachment styles tend to develop certain psychological disturbances. Karen concludes that the problems of the anxiously attached person are relevant to everyone.\n\nChapter 26:  repeating and Change: Working  with Insecure Attachment\n\nIn this chapter, Karen begins by describing how in his work with patients, Freud noticed that many of his patients would respond to hi   m as they would to a parent or some other important early figure. Karen also notes that this transference applies not only to therapy, but to all relationships as well.\n\nKaren also states that Harry  caboodle Sullivan believed that as children we develop different senses of self for each  authoritative relationship, and that as we get older we tend to use these different selves to relate to different people. Freud also believed that we tend to seek out people who are similar to those that we have had previous relationships with. If a person has an unsatisfying relationship with a parent, they will often seek in a mate someone who is just like that parent in an attempt to get the relationship right. People seem to try and try again to get through the problems of early childhood attachment by choosing a mate that is similar to the parent that the problem was with. People will keep trying until they get it right in one relationship or another.\n\nThis chapter also discusses how, in     tone at secure-autonomous adults, it is important to remember that, although most of these people did not have perfect parents or perfect relationships with their parents, they were able to work through this later in life.  reason shows that there are three ways in which people can overcome these poor relationships with a main parent: having a loving, supportive relationship early in childhood (other than a parent), undergoing some kind of therapy in later life, or being in a supportive relationship with a stable mate.\n\nAccording to research, each of these three factors can help a person move into the secure-autonomous classification. If a young child has someone else that they can turn to, other than a parent, then they will likely tend to model all of their future relationships based on this relationship instead of a failed  enate one. Through therapy, as well, most adults can work out their anger and confusion over having not had the type of relationship with their caregivers t   hat they know is possible. With therapy, these people are able to finally have a secure and  bank relationship that they will be able to look to for a model. The last variable, having a stable, loving relationship with a spouse, will also serve to break the cycle of emotional damage. Through a stable and perseverant spouse, an adult will eventually learn to trust him or her and find the strength he or she needs to unlearn the  toughened relationships with parents.\n\nIn concluding this chapter, Karen discusses how no one has a perfect childhood, and that it is good to reflect on both the positives and negatives of any relationship. He feels that people should fully experience all of the wounds that they suffered in childhood, but should also learn to let them go and to not hang on to them. He also focuses on how no one can change the childhood that they had, but rather everyone needs to come to terms with it in some way. By  position the past in the past, we are better able to form    successful and meaningful relationships with our spouses and our peers, and thus break the intergenerational cycle that seems so prevalent in most studies.\n\nChapter 27: Avoidant Society:  heathen Roots of Anxious Attachment\n\nIn this chapter, Karen offers a conclusion to his book by  aspect at how  order of magnitude has changed, particularly American  troupe, and the ways in which attachment has changed as a result. He begins by looking at pre-industrial society and notes that people rarely left their townspeople or village, and families stayed together for the entire lives of their members. Because of the closeness of families, mothers had help in raising their children from their parents, siblings, cousins, and so on. This gave the mother a chance to take a break every now and then, and also allowed the infant to experience other adults and other relationships. Karen noted that people did not move around that much, and it wasnt until after the Industrial Revolution and much la   ter, namely after the 1970s, that people began to move so much. He feels that this is detrimental to everyone because it tends to lessen the sense of community for all people, and no one is as  free to get to know their neighbors or to help them. Karen also feels that the pace of life is diminishing society too. He believes that people now are more fast paced and goal-oriented, and that this is affecting how children are being raised, and consequently their attachment styles. Parents put more and more pressure on their children at earlier and earlier ages, and this is becoming detrimental to the children.\n\nAs an example of a model society, Jean Liedloff looked at the Yequana, a stone-age tribe in South America. The Yequana mothers carry their babies with them everywhere, and are constantly available to comfort and nurture them. Liedloff, in studying the Yequana, came to question American society as a whole, especially child rearing practices. She advocated that mothers not work du   ring the first year of the infants life, to always hold the baby close to the body, to sleep with the baby at night, and to respond immediately to every cry. Although her ideas are  sanely difficult to incorporate into  universal American society, some of them are taking hold and revolutionizing how parents in the United States and other developed countries rai  
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